a cry towards the absurd

The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.Camus
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Contemplating Fear of Bean...


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Posted by Kesey on Saturday, December 21, 2002 at 01:05:46 :

Fear is inherent in that moment when one confronts a seemingly solidified self... an action or a thought that attacks the false structure that has served as base for one's actions is due to create some kind of response psychologically. The question of fear draws me to contemplate a question of phenomenology that has long interested me: what is the heuristic, or mechanism, inherent in one's consciousness, or in this example more pointedly one's unconscious, that actually selects what perceptions are to be noticed in one's conscious mind????
Attacking this thing rhetorically, I guess in way's, and my apologies for sliding into a little Freudian blah,blah... , the first inklings of an ideology of being ( a definition of this concept is forth coming, bear with me. Okay, scrap that, a definition could be useful now. My notion of an ideology of being is of one's deepest reality filter: a loose set of ideas which comes together forming an ideology that divides all available perceptions into two categories. Perceptions that are presented to the conscious mind, hence making up the building blocks of conscious decision making, and secondly the possible perceptions that are passed over. There must be a heuristic of sorts at work here; a heuristic that I'm calling the ideology of bean. Now to be sure this ideology would almost certainly have to be located deep within the folds of one's unconscious. Now a search for the genesis of one's ideology of being could lead to the essence of fear, but for the time being I'll leave my definition as it stands. One last note, it would seem to me that the definition I've provided steps right back to question of phenomenology that I just brought up. A tautology, ummmm???... maybe, but I guess all the best answers just lead back to more questions, or, if it was a good one, a different side of the same question. A large aside, my apologies. ) personal ideas that are created as the individual begins to be able to use language as a means of interpreting reality may have come to late. Every individual exists for a time within the span of reality with no linguistically way of interpreting it. Maybe, another form of language would have token precedence, a non- language-- language ( I'm in love with the oxymoron's tonight); a language of mechanical response as induced simply by unhindered interaction with the physical nuances of reality with out the need to understand and attempt to control it as so often is the case once formal language is introduced. Just maybe, formal language being insufficient to understand reality in its fullness ( as is one of my opinions) perverts the understanding between nature (reality) and the inner working of the individual as previously was enjoyed before formal language was introduced. Now to speak for a moment, on the syntax of this pre-language language would be of necessity of the physical environment. The result, hypothetically of coarse, the earliest stages of a discomfort between the mind and the body, and a possible consideration of my earlier stated question. Any thoughts ladies and gentleman??????
Now returning back to the question of fear. Is there a possibility, once again hypothetically of coarse, that fear could be the derivative of an annotated communication scheme that the body once used as its sole means of communication and or indication with overt language??? Maybe only one piece of the puzzle, but it does seem to put forth some type of solution to the question of angst in being. Granted, probably leaving out plenty of the complexities of the question, but we do have to start somewhere don't we. And I'm starting to get hungary so...
Cheers
Kesey


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