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Existentialism
Jean Paul Sartre (1905 - 1980)
No Exit (3) |
Wait a minute, there's a snag somewhere; something disagreeable.
Why, now, should it be disagreeable?...Ah,I see; it's
life without a break. (Jean Paul Sartre - huis clos)
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| INEZ: |
Fair?
You know, I don't regret a thing; still, I'm not so very
keen on telling you the story. |
| GARCIN: |
That's
all right..... So you got sick of him? |
| INEZ: |
Quite
gradually. All sorts of little things got on my nerves.
For instance, he made a noise when he was drinking-- a
sort of gurgle. Trifles like that. He was rather pathetic
really. Vulnerable. Why are you smiling? |
| GARCIN: |
Because I, anyhow, am not vulnerable. |
| INEZ: |
Don't
be too sure... I crept inside her skin, she saw the world
through my eyes. When she left him, I had her on my hands.
We shared a bed-sitting-room at the other end of the town. |
| GARCIN: |
And
then? |
| INEZ: |
Then
that tram did its job. I used to remind her every day:
"Yes, my pet, we killed him between us." I'm
rather cruel, really. |
| GARCIN: |
So
am I. |
| INEZ: |
No,
you're not cruel. It's something else. |
| GARCIN: |
What? |
| INEZ: |
I'll
tell you later. When I say I'm cruel, I mean I can't get
on without making people suffer. Like a live coal. A livek
coal in others' hearts. When I'm alone I flicker out.
For six months I flamed away in her heart, till there
was nothing but a cinder. One night she got up and turned
on the gas while I was asleep. Then she crept back into
bed. So now you know. |
| GARCIN: |
Well!
Well! |
| INEZ: |
Yes?
What's in your mind? |
| GARCIN: |
Nothing. Only that it's not a pretty story |
| INEZ: |
Obviously.
But what matter? |
| GARCIN: |
As
you say, what matter? Your turn. What have you done. |
| ESTELLE: |
As
I told you, I haven't a notion. I rack my brain, but it's
no use. |
| GARCIN: |
Right.
Then we'll give you a hand. That fellow with the smashed
face, who was he? |
| ESTELLE: |
Who--
who do you mean? |
| INEZ: |
You
know quite well. The man you were so scared of seeing
when you came in. |
| ESTELLE: |
Oh,
him! A friend of mine. |
| GARCIN: |
Why
were you afraid of him? |
| ESTELLE: |
That's
my business, Mr. Garcin. |
| INEZ:
|
Did
he shoot himself on your account? |
| ESTELLE: |
Of
course not. How absurd you are! |
| GARCIN: |
Then
why should you have been so scared? He blew his brains
out, didn't he? That's how his face got smashed. |
| ESTELLE: |
Don't!
Please don't go on. |
| GARCIN: |
Because
of you. Because of you. |
| INEZ: |
He shot himself because of you. |
| ESTELLE: |
Leave
me alone! It's -- it's not fair, bullying me like that.
I want to go! I want to go! |
| GARCIN: |
Go
if you can. Personally, I ask for nothing better. Unfortunately
the door's locked. |
| ESTELLE: |
You're
hateful, both of you. |
| INEZ: |
Hateful?
Yes, that's the word. Now get on with it. That fellow
who killed himself on your account-- you were his mistress,
eh? |
| GARCIN: |
Of
course she was. And he wanted to have her to himself alone.
That's so, isn't it? |
| INEZ: |
He
danced the tango like a professional, but he was poor
as a church mouse-- that's right, isn't it? |
| GARCIN: |
Was
he poor or not? Give a straight answer. |
| ESTELLE: |
Yes,
he was poor. |
| GARCIN: |
And
then you had your reputation to keep up. One day he came
and implored you to run away with him, and you laughed
in his face. |
| INEZ: |
That's
it. You laughed at him. And so he killed himself. |
| ESTELLE: |
DId
you use to look at Florence in that way? |
| INEZ: |
Yes. |
| ESTELLE: |
You've
got it all wrong, you two. He wanted me to have a baby.
So there! |
| GARCIN: |
And
you didn't want one? |
| ESTELLE: |
I
certainly didn't. But the baby came, worse luck. I went
to Switzerland for five months. No one knew anything.
It was a girl. Roger was with me when she was born. It
pleased him no end, having a daughter. It didn't please
me! |
| GARCIN: |
And
then? |
| ESTELLE: |
There
was a balcony overlooking the lake. I brought a big stone.
He could see what I was up to and he kept on shouting:
"Estelle, for God's sake, don't!" I hated him
then. He saw it all. He was leaning over the balcony and
he saw the rings spreading on the water-- |
| GARCIN: |
Yes?
And then? |
| ESTELLE: |
That's
all. I came back to Paris-- and he did as he wished. |
| GARCIN: |
You
mean he blew his brains out? |
| ESTELLE: |
It
was absurd of him, really, my husband never suspected
anything. Oh, how I loathe you! |
| GARCIN: |
Nothing
doing. Tears don't flow in this place. |
| ESTELLE: |
I'm
a coward. A coward! If you knew how I hate you! |
| INEZ: |
Poor
child! So the hearing's over. But there's no need to look
like a hanging judge. |
| GARCIN: |
A
hanging judge? I'd give a lot to be able to see myself
in a glass. How hot it is! (Takes off coat.) Oh, sorry!
(Puts it on again.) |
| ESTELLE: |
Don't
bother. You can stay in your shirt-sleeves. As things
are-- |
| GARCIN: |
Just
so. You mustn't be angry with me, Estelle. |
| ESTELLE: |
I'm
not angry with you. |
| INEZ: |
And
what about me? Are you angry with me? |
| ESTELLE: |
Yes. |
| INEZ:
|
Well,
Mr. Garcin, now you have us in the nude all right. Do
your understand things any better for that?
GARCIN: I wonder. Yes, perhaps a trifle better. And now
I suppose we start trying to help each other. |
| INEZ: |
I
don't need help. |
| GARCIN: |
Inez,
they've laid their snare damned cunningly-- like a cobweb.
If you make any movement, if you raise your hand to fan
yourself, Estelle and I feel a little tug. Alone, none
of us can save himself or herslf; we're linked together
inextricably. So you can take your choice. Hullo? What's
happening? |
| INEZ: |
They've
let it. The windows are wide open, a man is sitting on
my bed. MY bed, if you please! They've let it, let it!
Step in, step in, make yourself at home, you brute! Ah,
there's a woman, too. She's going up to him, putting her
hands on his shoulders...Damn it, why don't they turn
the lights on? It's getting dark. Now he's going to kiss
her. But that's my room, MY room! Pitch-dark now. I can't
see anything, but I hear them whispering, whispering.
Is he going to make love to her on MY bed?What's that
she said? That it's noon and the sun is shining? I must
be going blind. Blacked out. I can't see or hear a thing.
So I'm done with the earth, it seems. No more alibis for
m! I feel so empty, desiccated-- really dead at last.
All of me's here, in this room. What were you saying?
Something about helping me, wasn't it? |
|
GARCIN: |
Yes. |
| INEZ: |
Helping
me to do what? |
| GARCIN: |
To
defeat their devilish tricks. |
| INEZ: |
And
what do you expect me to do in return? |
| GARCIN: |
To
help ME. It only needs a little effort, Inez; just a spark
of human feeling. |
| INEZ: |
Human
feeling. That's beyond my range. I'm rotten to the core. |
| GARCIN: |
And
how about me? All the same, suppose we try? |
| INEZ: |
It's
no use. I'm all dried up. I can't give and I can't receive.
How could I help you? A dead twig, ready for the burning.
Florence was fair, a natural blonde. |
| GARCIN: |
Do
your realize that this young woman's fated to be your
torturer? |
| INEZ: |
Perhaps
I've guessed it. |
| GARCIN: |
It's
through her they'll get you. I, of course, I'm different--
aloof. I take no notice of her. Suppose you had a try-- |
| INEZ: |
Yes? |
| GARCIN: |
It's
a trap. They're watching you, to see if you'll fall into
it. |
| INEZ: |
I
know. And you're another trap. Do you think they haven't
foreknown every word you say? And of course there's a
whole nest of pitfalls that we can't see. Everything here's
a booby-trap. But what do I care? I'm a pitfall, too.
For her, obviously. And perhaps I'll catch her. |
| GARCIN: |
You
won't catch anything. We're chasing after each other,
round and round in a vicious circle, like the horses on
a roundabout. That's part of their plan, of course...
Drop it, Inez. Open your hands and let go of everything.
Or else you'll bring disaster on all three of us. |
| INEZ: |
Do
I look the sort of person who lets go? I know what's coming
to me. I'm going to burn, and it's to last forever. Yes,
I KNOW everything. But do you think I'll let go? I'll
catch her, she'll see you through my eyes, as Florence
saw that other man. What's the good of trying to enlist
my sympathy? I assure you I know everything, and I can't
feel sorry even for myself. A trap! Don't I know it, and
that I'm in a trap myself, up to the neck, and there's
nothing to be done about it? ANd if it suits their book,
so much the better! |
| GARCIN: |
Well,
I, anyhow, can feel sorry for you, too. Look at me, we're
naked, naked right through, and I can see into your heart.
That's one link between us. Do you think I'd want to hurt
you? I don't regret anything, I'm dried up, too. But for
you I can still feel pity. |
| INEZ: |
Don't.
I hate being pawed about. And keep your pity for yourself.
Don't forget, Garcin, that there are traps for you, too,
in this room. ALl nicely set for you. You'd do better
to watch your own interests. But, if you will elave us
in peace, this child and me, I'll see I don't do you any
harm. |
| GARCIN: |
Very
well. |
| ESTELLE: |
Please,
Garcin. |
| GARCIN: |
What
do you want of me? |
| ESTELLE: |
You
can help ME, anyhow. |
| GARCIN: |
If
you want help, apply to her. |
| ESTELLE: |
I
implore you, Garcin-- you gave me your promise, didn't
you? Help me quick. I don't want to be left alone. Olga's
taken him to a cabaret. |
| INEZ: |
Taken
whom? |
| ESTELLE: |
Peter....Oh,
now they're dancing together. |
| INEZ: |
Who's
Peter? |
| ESTELLE: |
Such
a silly boy. He called me his glancing stream-- just fancy!
He was terribly in love with me... She's persuaded him
to come out with her tonight. |
| INEZ: |
Do
you love him? |
| ESTELLE: |
They're
sitting down now. She's puffing like a grampus. What a
fool the girl is to insist on dancing! But I dare say
she does it to reduce...No, of course I don't love him.
He's only eighteen, and I'm not a baby-snatcher. |
| INEZ: |
Then
why bother about them? What difference does it make? |
| ESTELLE: |
He
belonged to me. |
| INEZ: |
Nothing on earth belongs to you any more. |
| ESTELLE: |
I
tell you he was mine. All mine. |
| INEZ: |
Yes,
he was yours-- once. But now---try to make him hear, try
to touch him. Olga can touch him, talk to him as much
as she likes. That's so, isn't it? She can squeeze his
hands, rub herself against him-- |
| ESTELLE: |
Yes,
look! She's pressing her great fat chest against him,
puffing and blowing his his face. But, my poor little
lamb, can't you see how ridiculous she is? Why don't you
laugh at her? Oh, once I'd have only had to glance at
them and she'd have slunk away. Is there really nothing,
nothing left of me? |
| INEZ: |
Nothing
whatever. Nothing of you's left on earth-- not even a
shadow. All you own is here. Would you like that paper-knife?
Or that ornament on the mantelpiece? That blue sofa's
yours. And I, my dear, am yours forever. |
| ESTELLE: |
You
mine! That's good! Well, which of you two would dare to
call me his glancing stream, his crystal girl? You know
too much about me, you know I'm rotten through and through...
Peter, dear, think of me, fix your thoughts on me, and
save me. All the time you're thinking "my glancing
stream, his crystal girl," I'm only half here. I'm
only half wicked, and half of me is down there with you,
clean and bright and crystal-clear as running water...Oh,
just look at her face, all scarlet, like a tomato. No,
it's absurd, we've laughed at her together, you and I,
often and often... What's that tune? -- I always loved
it. Yes, the "St. Louis Blues"....All right,
dance away, dance away. Garcin, I wish you could see her,
you'd die of laughing.Only--she'll never know I SEE her.
Yes, I see you, Olga, with your hair all anyhow, and you
do look like a dope, my dear. Oh, now you're treading
on his toes. It's a scream! Hurry up! Quicker! Quicker!
He's dragging her along, bundling her round and round--
it's too ghastly! He always said I was so light, he loved
to dance with me. I tell you, Olga, I can see you. No,
she doesn't care, she's dancing through my gaze. What's
that? What's that you said? "Our poor dear Estelle"?
Oh, don't be such a humbug! You didn't even shed a tear
at the funeral...And she has the nerve to talk to him
about her poor dear friend Estelle! How dare she discuss
me with Peter? Now then, keep time. She never could dance
and talk at once. Oh, what's that? No, no. Don't tell
him. Please, please don't tell him. You can keep him,
do what you like with him, but please don't tell him about--
that! All right. You can have him now. Isn't it FOUL,
Garcin? She's told him everything, about Roger, my trip
to Switzerland, the baby. "Poor Estelle wasn't exactly--"
"No, I wasn't exactly--- True enough. He's looking
grave, shaking his head, but he doesn't seem so much surprised,
not what one would expect. Keep him then-- I won't haggle
with you over his long eyelashes, his pretty girlish face.
They're yours for the asking. His glancing stream, his
crystal. Well, the crystal's shattered into bits. "Poor
Estelle!" Dance, dance, dance. On with it. But do
keep time. One, two. One, two. How I'd love to go down
to earth for just a moment, and dance with him again.
The music's growing fainter. They've turned down the lights,
as they do for a tango. Why are they playing so softly?
Louder, please. I can't hear. It's so far away, so far
away. I--I can't hear a sound. All over. It's the end.
The earth has left me. Don't turn from me-- please. Take
me in your arms. |
| INEZ: |
Now
then, Garcin! |
| GARCIN: |
It's
to her you should say that. |
| ESTELLE: |
Don't
turn away. You're a man, aren't you, and surely I'm not
a fright as all that! Everyone says I've lovely hair and
after all, a man killed himself on my account. You have
to look at something, and there's nothing here to see
except the sofas and that awful ornament and the table.
Surely I'm better to look at that an lot of stupid furniture.
Listen! I've dropped out of their heart like a little
sparrow fallen from its nest. So gather me up, dear, fold
me to your heart--and you'll see how nice I can be. |
| GARCIN: |
I
tell you it's to that lady you should speak. |
| ESTELLE: |
To
her? But she doesn't count, she's a woman. |
| INEZ: |
Oh,
I don't count? Is that what you think? But, my poor little
fallen nestling, you've been sheltering in my heart for
ages, though you didn't realize it. Don't be afraid; I'll
keep looking at you for ever and ever, without a flutter
of my eyelids, and you'll live in my gaze like a mote
in a sunbeam. |
| ESTELLE: |
A
sunbeam indeed! Don't talk such rubbish! You've tried
that trick already, and you should know it doesn't work. |
| INEZ: |
Estelle!
My glancing stream! My crystal! |
| ESTELLE: |
YOUR
crystal? It's grotesque. Do you think you can fool me
with that sort of talk? Everyone know by now what I did
to my baby. The crystal's shattered, but I don't care.
I'm just a hollow dummy, all that's left of me is the
outside--but it's not for you. |
| INEZ: |
Come to me, Estelle. You shall be whatever you like: a
glancing stream, a muddy stream. And deep down in my eyes
you'll see yourself just as you want to be. |
| ESTELLE:
|
Oh,
leave me in peace. You haven't any eyes. Oh, damn it,
isn't there anything I can do to get rid of you? I've
an idea. (Spits in Garcin's face.) There! |
| INEZ: |
Garcin,
you shall pay for this. |
| GARCIN: |
So
it's a man you need? |
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Ce
qu'on fait n'est jamais compris mais seulement loué ou blâmé.
Nietzsche, Gay Science |
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