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Existentialism
Woody Allen (1935)
Annie Hall (5)
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I love the rain, It washes the memories off the sidewalk
of life
(Play it agqain,Sam) |
ALVY
M'hm.
(He pushes himself up from the
bed and looks down at Annie)
You're not gonna believe this, but-
ANNIE
What? What?
CUT TO:
INT. BOOKSTORE-DAY
Annie and Alvy browsing in crowded bookstore. Alvy, carrying two books,
"Death and Western Thought" and "The Denial of Death", moves
over to where
Annie is looking.
ALVY
Hey?
ANNIE
H'm?
ALVY
I-I-I'm gonna buy you these books, I
think, because I-I think you should
read them. You know, instead of that
cat book.
ANNIE
(Looking at the books Alvy
is bolding)
That's, uh ...
(Laughing)
that's pretty serious stuff there.
ALVY
Yeah, 'cause I-I'm, you know, I'm,
I'm obsessed with-with, uh, with death,
I think. Big-
ANNIE
(Overlapping)
Yeah?
ALVY
-big subject with me, yeah.
ANNIE
Yeah?
They move over to the cashier line.
ALVY
(Gesturing)
I've a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're
gonna go out, you know. I-I-I feel that
life is-is divided up into the horrible
and the miserable.
ANNIE
M'hm.
ALVY
Those are the two categories ...
ANNIE
M'hm.
ALVY
... you know, they're- The-the horrible
would be like, uh, I don't know, terminal
cases, you know?
ANNIE
M'hm.
ALVY
And blind people, crippled ...
ANNIE
Yeah.
ALVY
I don't-don't know how they get through
life. It's amazing to me.
ANNIE
M'hm.
ALVY
You know, and the miserable is everyone
else. That's-that's all. So-so when
you go through life you should be thankful
that you're miserable, because that's-
You're very lucky ... to be ...
(Overlapping Annie's laughter)
... to be miserable.
ANNIE
U-huh.
EXT. PARK-DAY
It's a beautiful sunny day in Central Park. People are sitting on benches,
others strolling, some walking dogs. One woman stands feeding cooing pigeons.
Alvy's and Annie's voices are heard off screen as they observe the scene before
them. An older man and woman walk into view.
ALVY
Look, look at that guy.
ANNIE
M'hm.
ALVY
There's-there's-there's-there's Mr.
When-in-the-Pink, Mr. Miami Beach, there,
you know?
(Over Annie's laughter)
He's the latest! just came back from
the gin-rummy farm last night. He
placed third.
ANNIE
(Laughing)
M'hm. Yeah. Yeah.
The camera shows them sitting side by side relaxed on a bench.
ALVY
(Watching two men approach, one
lighting a cigar)
Look at these guys.
ANNIE
Yeah.
ALVY
Oh, that's hilarious. They're back
from Fire Island. They're ... they're
sort of giving it a chance-you know what
I mean?
ANNIE
Oh! Italian, right?
ALVY
Yeah, he's the Mafia. Linen Supply Business
or Cement and Contract, you know what I mean?
ANNIE
(Laughing)
Oh, yeah.
ALVY
No, I'm serious.
(Over Annie's laughter)
I just got my mustache wet.
ANNIE
Oh, yeah?
ALVY
(As another man walks by)
And there's the winner of the Truman
Capote look-alike contest.
EXT. STREET-NIGHT
Alvy and Annie walk almost in silhouette along the dock, the New York City
skyline in the background. Alvy has his arm around Annie and they walk slowly.
No one else is around.
ANNIE
You see, like you and I ...
ALVY
You are extremely sexy.
ANNIE
No, I'm not.
ALVY
Unbelievably sexy. Yes, you are.
Because ... you know what you are?
You're-you're polymorphously perverse.
ANNIE
Well, what does-what does that mean?
I don't know what that is.
ALVY
Uh ... uh, you're-you're exceptional
in bed because you got -you get pleasure
in every part of your body when I touch you.
ANNIE
Ooooh!
They stop walking. Holding Annie's arms, Alvy turns her to face him. The
South Street Bridge, lit up for the night, is in the background.
ALVY
You know what I mean? Like the tip
o'your nose, and if I stroke your teeth
or your kneecaps ... you get excited.
ANNIE
Come on.
(Laughing)
Yeah. You know what? You know, I
like you, I really mean it. I really do
like you.
ALVY
You- Do you love me?
ANNIE
Do I love you?
ALVY
That's the key question.
ANNIE
Yeah.
ALVY
I know you've only known me a short
while.
ANNIE
Well, I certainly ... I think that's
very- Yeah, yeah ...
(Laughing)
yeah. Do you love me?
ALVY
I-uh, love is, uh, is too weak a word
for what...
ANNIE
Yeah.
ALVY
- I ... I love you.
(Over Annie's laughter)
You know I lo-ove you, I-I love you.
(Over Annie's laughter)
I-I have to invent- Of course I love you.
ANNIE
Yeah.
ALVY
(Putting his arms around her neck)
Don't you think I do?
ANNIE
I dunno.
They kiss as a foghorn sounds in the distance.
INT. ALVY'S APARTMENT
Alvy, somewhat distraught, is following Annie around his apartment, which is
filled with boxes and suitcases, clothes and framed pictures. They both carry
cartons.
ALVY
Whatta you mean? You're not gonna give
up your own apartment, are you?
ANNIE
(Putting down the carton)
Of course.
ALVY
Yeah, bu-bu-but why?
ANNIE
Well, I mean, I'm moving in with you,
that's why.
ALVY
Yeah, but you-you got a nice apartment.
ANNIE
I have a tiny apartment.
ALVY
Yeah, I know it's small.
ANNIE
(Picking up the suitcases and
walking into the bedroom)
That's right, and it's got bad plumbing
and bugs.
ALVY
(Picking up some pictures and
following Annie into the bedroom)
All right, granted, it has bad plumbing
and bugs, but you-you say that like it's a
negative thing. You know, bugs are-are-uh,
entomology is a ...
(Annie, reacting, tosses the
suitcases and some loose clothing
onto the bed. She sits down on the
edge, looking away. Alvy walks in,
pictures and carton in band, still
talking)
... rapidly growing field.
ANNIE
You don't want me to live with you?
ALVY
How- I don't want you to live with me?
How- Whose idea was it?
ANNIE
Mine.
ALVY
Ye-ah. Was it ... It was yours actually,
but, uh, I approved it immediately.
ANNIE
I guess you think that I talked you into
something, huh?
(putting pictures on the mantel)
ALVY
No-what, what ...? I ... we live together,
we sleep together, we eat together. Jesus,
you don't want it to be like we're married,
do yuh?
He moves over to the carton of books on the window seat and reaches in. He
starts tossing books off screen.
ANNIE
(Looking up at Alvy)
How is it any different?
ALVY
(Gesturing)
It's different 'cause you keep your own
apartment.
(Holding a book, he starts walking
around the room)
Because you know it's there, we don't
have to go to it, we don't have to deal
with it, but it's like a-a-a free-floating
life raft ... that we know that we're not
married.
He tosses the book on the bed and walks back to the window seat.
ANNIE
(Still sitting on the bed)
That little apartment is four hundred
dollars a month, Alvy.
ALVY
(Looking at Annie)
That place is four hundred dollars a month?
ANNIE
Yes, it is.
ALVY
(Whistling)
It's-it's got bad plumbing and bugs. Jesus,
I'll-My accountant will write it off as a
tax deduction, I'll pay for it.
ANNIE
(Shaking her head)
You don't think I'm smart enough to be
serious about.
ALVY
Hey, don't be ridiculous.
Alvy moves over to the bed and sits down next to Annie.
ANNIE
Then why are you always pushing me to take
those college courses like I was dumb or
something?
ALVY
(Putting his hand to his forehead)
'Cause adult education's a wonderful thing.
You meet a lotta interesting professors.
You know, it's stimulating.
EXT. COUNTRY HIGHWAY - DAY
Annie and Alvy, in Annie's VW, driving to their summerhouse. The camera moves
with them as they pass a house with a lighted window, blooming foliage. There
is no dialogue, but it is a comfortable quiet. Classical music plays in the
background.
CUT TO:
INT. COUNTRY HOUSE - NIGHT
Annie, sitting cross-legged on a wooden chest in the bedroom, is browsing
through a school catalogue. Alvy lies in bed reading.
ANNIE
(Reading)
Does this sound like a good course?
Uh, "Modern American Poetry"? Uh, or,
uh-let's see now ... maybe I should, uh,
take "Introduction to the Novel."
ALVY
Just don't take any course where they
make you read Beowulf.
ANNIE
What?
(Laughing)
Hey, listen, what-what do you think? Do
you think we should, uh, go to that-that
party in Southampton tonight?
Alvy leans over and kisses her shoulder.
ALVY
No, don't be silly. What-what do we need
other people for?
(He puts his arms around her neck,
kissing her, Annie making muffled
sounds)
You know, we should-we should just turn
out the lights, you know, and play hide
and seek or something.
ANNIE
(Laughing)
Well, okay. Well, listen, I'm gonna get
a cigarette, okay?
ALVY
(Yelling out to her as she leaves
the room)
Yeah, grass, right? The illusion that
it will make a white woman more like
Billie Holiday.
ANNIE
(Off screen)
Well, have you ever made love high?
ALVY
Me, no. You ... I-I-you know, if I
have grass or alcohol or anything I
get unbearably wonderful. I get too,
too wonderful for words. You know,
I don't-I don't know why you have to,
uh, get high every time we make love.
ANNIE
(Moving back into the room and
lighting a joint)
It relaxes me.
ALVY
Oh, you-you have to be artificially
relaxed before we can go to bed?
ANNIE
(Closing the door)
Well, what's the difference, anyway?
ALVY
Well, I'll give you a shot of sodium
pentothal. You can sleep through it.
ANNIE
Oh, come on, look who's talking. You've
been seeing a psychiatrist for fifteen years.
(She gets into bed and takes a
puff of marijuana)
You should smoke some o' this. You'd be
off the couch in no time.
ALVY
Oh, come, you don't need that.
Alvy, sitting down on the bed, moves over to Annie and takes the weed from her.
ANNIE
What are you doing?
ALVY
(Kissing her)
No, no, no, what ... You can once, you
can live without it once. Come on.
ANNIE
Oh, no, Alvy, please. Alvy, please.
(Laughing and making sounds)
M'mrnm.
ALVY
M'm, wait, I got a great idea.
(He gets up and goes over to the
closet, taking out a light bulb.
He goes back to the bed and turns
out the lamp on the night table)
Hang in there for a second. I got a
little-little artifact. A little erotic
artifact, that-that I brought up from the
city, which I think, uh, is gonna be perfect.
(He turns the lamp back on, having
replaced the bulb with the red one
from the closet)
I just ... there ... There's a little Old
New Orleans ... essence. Now-now we can go
about our business here and we can even
develop photographs if we want to. There,
now there.
(He undresses and crawls into bed,
taking Annie in his arms)
M'mmm. M'mmm. Hey, is something wrong?
ANNIE
Uh-uh-why?
ALVY
I don't know. You- It's like you're-
you're removed.
ANNIE
No, I'm fine.
As Annie speaks, her inner self (ghostlike, moves up from the bed and) sits
down on a chair, watching.
ALVY
Really?
ANNIE
U-huh.
ALVY
I don't know, but you seem sort of distant.
ANNIE
Let's just do it, all right?
ALVY
(Kissing and caressing Annie)
Is it my imagination or are you just
going through the motions?
ANNIE'S SPIRIT
Alvy, do you remember where I put my
drawing pad? Because while you two are
doing that, I think I'm gonna do some
drawing.
ALVY
(Reacting)
You see, that's what I call removed.
ANNIE
Oh, you have my body.
ALVY
Yeah, but that's not-that's no good.
I want the whole thing.
ANNIE
(Sighing)
Well, I need grass and so do you.
ALVY
Well, it ruins it for me if you have grass
(Clearing his throat)
because, you know, I'm, like, a comedian-
ANNIE
(Overlapping)
M'hm.
ALVY
(Overlapping)
-so if I get a laugh from a person who's
high, it doesn't count. You know-'cause
they're always laughin'.
ANNIE
Were you always funny?
ALVY
Hey, what is this-an interview? We're
supposed to be making love.
CUT TO:
INT. OFFICE.
A typical old-fashioned theatrical agency in a Broadway office building.
Autographed 8 X 12 is plastered in the sloppy room. The agent, chewing a
cigar, sits behind his desk talking to one of his clients, a comedian, who
stands with his hands in his pockets. A young Alvy sits stiffly in a chair
nearby watching.
AGENT
This guy is naturally funny. I think
he can write for you.
COMIC
(Buttoning his jacket)
Yeah, yeah. Hey, kid, he tells me you're
really good. Well, lemme explain a little
bit o' how I work. You know, you can tell
right off the bat that I don't look like
a funny guy when I come-you know, like some
o' the guys that come out. You know, right
away
(Gesturing)
they're gonna tell yuh their stories, you're
gonna fall down, but I gotta be really
talented. Material's gotta be sensational
for me 'cause I work, you know, with very,
very ... Come on, I'm kinda classy, you
know what I mean? Uh ... uh ... lemme
explain. For instance, I open with an
opening song. A musical start like
(Ad-lib singing)
and I walk out
(Ad-lib singing)
"Place looks wonderful from here and
you folks look wonderful from here!
(Singing)
"And seein' you there
With a smile on your face
Makes me shout
This must be the place."
Then I stop right in the middle and then
I open with some jokes. Now, that's where
I need you, right there. For instance, like
I say, "Hey, I just got back from Canada,
you know, they speak a lotta French up
there. The only way to remember Jeanne
d'Arc means the light's out in the bathroom!"
(He laughs. Seated Alvy looks
up smiling)
"Oh, I met a big lumberjack ..."
ALVY'S VOICE
(To himself)
Jesus, this guy's pathetic.
COMIC
(Overlapping above speech)
... big lumberjack ...
ALVY'S VOICE
(To himself while the comic
continues his routine)
Look at him mincing around, like he
thinks he's real cute. You wanna throw
up. If only I had the nerve to do my
own jokes. I don't know how much longer
I can keep this smile frozen on my face.
I'm in the wrong business, I know it.
COMIC
(Overlapping above speech)
"'Cherie, come back. I love you.
(Shaking his lips and mimicking)
But, uh, Cheri, what will I do with this,
uh?' He says, 'Aw, Marie, sometime you
make me so mad."'
(Laughing)
Oh, they scream at that. Now, write me
somethin' like that, will yuh? Kinda
French number, can yuh do it? Huh, kid?
INT. THEATER - NIGHT
The darkened auditorium is filled with college students applauding and cheering,
excited, as Alvy stands on spotlighted stage holding the microphone.
ALVY
(Gesturing)
W-where am I? I-I keep ... I have to
reorient myself. This is the University
of Wisconsin, right? So I'm always ...
I'm tense and ... uh, when I'm playin' a
col- I've a very bad history with colleges.
You know, I went to New York University and,
uh, tsch, I was thrown out of NYU my freshman
year ... for cheating on my metaphysics final.
You know, I looked within the soul of the
boy sitting next to me-
(The audience laughs; they're with him)
-and when I was thrown out, my mother,
who's an emotionally high-strung woman,
locked herself in the bathroom and took an
overdose of mah-jongg tiles.
(More applause and laughter)
And, uh, tsch, I was depressed. I was ...
in analysis, I-I, uh, was suicidal; as a
matter of fact, uh, I would have killed
myself but I was in analysis with a strict
Freudian and if you kill yourself ... they
make you pay for the sessions you miss.
Ce
qu'on fait n'est jamais compris mais seulement loué ou blâmé.
Nietzsche, Gay Science |
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