- Existentialism:
A Primer
- Realm of Existentialism
- Kierkegaard, Soren - D. Anthony Storm
- The Nietzsche Page
- Glossary of Existential Terms

- Existentialism and Human Emotions Jean-Paul Sartre
-Marjorie Grene
Introduction to Existentialism
- Walter Kaufmann
From Shakespeare to Existentialism
-Martin Heidegger,
Being and Time (Sein und Zeit, 1927)

bibliography...

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ANNIE
Alvy, now don't panic. Please.

ALVY
Look, I told you it was a ... mistake
to ever bring a live thing in the house.

ANNIE
Stop it! Don't ... don't do that! There.

The lobsters continue to crawl on the floor. Annie, bolding out a wooden
paddle, tries to shove them onto it.

ALVY
Well, maybe we should just call the police.
Dial nine-one-one, it's the lobster squad.

ANNIE
Come on, Alvy, they're only baby ones, for
God's sake.

ALVY
If they're only babies, then you pick
'em up.

ANNIE
Oh, all right. All right! It's all
right. Here.

She drops the paddle and picks up one of the lobsters by the tail. Laughing,
she shoves it at Alvy who jerks backward, squeamishly.

ALVY
Don't give it to me. Don't!

ANNIE
(Hysterically)
Oooh! Here! Here!

ALVY
(Pointing)
Look! Look, one crawled behind the
refrigerator. It'll turn up in our bed
at night.
(They move over to the refrigerator;
Alvy moves as close to the wall as
possible as Annie, covering her mouth
and laughing hysterically, teasingly
dangles a lobster in front of him)
Will you get outta here with that thing?
Jesus!


ANNIE
(Laughing, to the lobster)
Get him!

ALVY
(Laughing)
Talk to him. You speak shellfish!
(He moves over to the stove and
takes the lid of a large steamer
filled with boiling water)
Hey, look ... put it in the pot.

ANNIE
(Laughing)
I can't! I can't put him in the pot. I
can't put a live thing in hot water.

ALVY
(Overlapping)
Gimme! Gimme! Let me do it! What-what's
he think we're gonna do, take him to the
movies?

Annie hands the lobster to Alvy as he takes it very carefully and drops it
gingerly into the pot and puts the cover back on.

ANNIE
(Overlapping Alvy and making sounds)
Oh, God! Here yuh go! Oh, good, now
he'll think-
(She screams)
Aaaah! Okay.

ALVY
(Overlapping Annie)
Okay, it's in. It's definitely in the pot!

ANNIE
All right. All right. All right.

She moves hurriedly across the kitchen and picks up another lobster. Smiling,
she places it on the counter as Alvy stands beside the refrigerator trying to
push it from the wall.

ALVY
Annie, there's a big lobster behind
the refrigerator. I can't get it out.
This thing's heavy. Maybe if I put a
little dish of butter sauce here with a
nutcracker, it will run out the other
side, you know what I mean?

ANNIE
(Overlapping)
Yeah. I'm gonna get my ... I'm gonna
get my camera.

ALVY
You know, I-I think ... if I could pry
this door off ... We shoulda gotten steaks
'cause they don't have legs. They don't
run around.

Annie rushes out of the room to get her camera as Alvy picks up the paddle.
Trying to get at the lobsters, he ends up knocking over dishes and hitting the
chandelier. Holding the paddle, he finally leans back against the sink.
Annie, standing in the doorway, starts taking pictures of him.

ANNIE
Great! Great!
(Screaming)
Goddammit!
(Screaming)
Ooooh! These are ... p-p-p-pick this
lobster up. Hold it, please!

ALVY
All right! All right! All right! All
right! Whatta yuh mean? Are yuh gonna
take pictures now?

ANNIE
It'll make great- Alvy, be- Alvy, it'll
be wonderful ... Ooooh, lovely!

ALVY
(Picking up the lobster Annie
placed on the counter earlier)
All right, here! Oh, God, it's disgusting!

Alvy drops the lobster back down on the counter, sticking out his tongue and
making a face.

ANNIE
Don't be a jerk. One more, Alvy, please,
one more picture.
(Reluctantly Alvy picks up the
lobster again as Annie takes
another picture)
Oh, oh, good, good!


EXT. OCEAN FRONT-DUSK.

The camera pans Annie and Alvy as they walk along the shore.

ALVY
So, so-well, here's what I wanna know.
W-what ...
(He clears his throat)
Am I your first big romance?

ANNIE
Oh ... no, no, no, no, uh, uh. No.

ALVY
Well, then, w-who was?

ANNIE
Oh, well, let's see, there was Dennis,
from Chippewa Falls High School.

CUT TO:


FLASHBACK OF DENNIS LEANING AGAINST A CAR - NIGHT

Behind him is a movie theater with "MARILYN MONROE, 'MISFITS' " on the marquee.
He looks at his watch as the younger Annie, in a beehive hairdo, moves into the
frame. They kiss quickly and look at each other, smiling.

ALVY'S VOICE
(Off screen)
Dennis-right, uh, uh ... local kid
probably, would meetcha in front of the
movie house on Saturday night.

ANNIE'S VOICE
Oh, God, you should've seen what I looked
like then.

ALVY'S VOICE
(Off screen, laughing)
Oh, I can imagine. P-p-probably the
wife of an astronaut.

ANNIE'S VOICE
Then there was Jerry, the actor.

CUT TO:


FLASHBACK OF BRICK-WALLED APARTMENT - NIGHT

The younger, Annie and Jerry lean against the wall. Jerry is running his band
down Annie's bare arm. Annie and Alvy walk into the room, observing the younger
Annie, in jeans and T-shirt, with Jerry.

ALVY'S VOICE
(Laughing)
Look at you, you-you,-re such a clown.

ANNIE'S VOICE
I look pretty.

ALVY'S VOICE
Well, yeah, you always look pretty, but
that guy with you ...

JERRY
Acting is like an exploration of the soul.
I-it's very religious. Uh, like, uh, a
kind of liberating consciousness. It's
like a visual poem.

ALVY
(Laughing)
Is he kidding with that crap?

YOUNGER ANNIE
(Laughing)
Oh, right. Right, yeah, I think I
know exactly what you mean, when you
say "religious."

ALVY
(Incredulous, to Annie)
You do?

ANNIE
(Still watching)
Oh, come on-I mean, I was still younger.

ALVY
Hey, that was last year.

JERRY
It's like when I think of dying. You
know how I would like to die?

YOUNGER ANNIE
No, how?

JERRY
I'd like to get torn apart by wild animals.

ALVY'S VOICE
Heavy! Eaten by some squirrels.

ANNIE'S VOICE
Hey, listen-I mean, he was a terrific actor,
and look at him, he's neat-looking and he
was emotional ... Y-hey, I don't think you
like emotion too much.

Jerry stops rubbing the younger Annie's arm and slides down to the floor as
she raises her foot toward his chest.

JERRY
Touch my heart ... with your foot.

ALVY'S VOICE
I-I may throw up!

CUT BACK TO:


EXTERIOR. BEACH-DUSK

It's now sunset, the water reflecting the last light. The camera moves over
the scene. The off screen voices of Alvy and Annie are heard as they walk, the
camera always one step ahead of them.

ANNIE
He was creepy.


ALVY
Yeah, I-I think you're pretty lucky I
came along.

ANNIE
(Laughing)
Oh, really? Well, la-de-da!

ALVY
La-de-da. If I-if anyone had ever told
me that I would be taking out a girl who
used expressions like "la-de-da" . . .

ANNIE
Oh, that's right. That you really like
those New York girls.

ALVY
Well, no ... not just, not only.

ANNIE
Oh, I'd say so. You married-

CUT TO:


INT. NEW YORK CITY APARTMENT-NIGHT

A cocktail party is in progress, the rooms crowded with guests as Alvy and
Robin make their way through the people. A waiter, carrying a tray, walks
past them. Alvy reaches out to pick up a glass; Robin reaches over and picks
it of the tray first. There is much low-key chatter in the background.

ANNIE
(Off screen)
-two of them.

ROBIN
There's Henry Drucker. He has a chair
in history at Princeton. Oh, the short
man is Hershel Kaminsky. He has a chair
in philosophy at Cornell.

ALVY
Yeah, two more chairs and they got a
dining-room set.

ROBIN
Why are you so hostile?

ALVY
(Sighing)
'Cause I wanna watch the Knicks on
television.

ROBIN
(Squinting)
Is that Paul Goodman? No. And be nice
to the host because he's publishing my
book. Hi, Doug! Douglas Wyatt.
"A Foul-Rag-and-Bone Shop-of-the-Heart."

They move through the rooms, Robin holding a drink in one hand, her arm draped
in Alvy's; the crowd mills around them.

ALVY
(Taking Robin's hand)
I'm so tired of spending evenings making
fake insights with people who work for
Dysentery.

ROBIN
Commentary.

ALVY
Oh, really, I heard that Commentary and
Dissent had merged and formed Dysentery.

ROBIN
No jokes-these are friends, okay?


INT. BEDROOM

Alvy sits on the foot of the bed watching the Knicks game on television.

TV ANNOUNCER
(Off screen)
Cleveland Cavaliers losing to the New
York Knicks.

Robin enters the room, slamming the door.

ROBIN
Here you are. There's people out there.

ALVY
Hey, you wouldn't believe this. Two
minutes ago, the Knicks are ahead fourteen
points, and now ...
(Clears his throat)
they're ahead two points.

ROBIN
Alvy, what is so fascinating about a group
of pituitary cases trying to stuff the
ball through a hoop?

ALVY
(Looking at Robin)
What's fascinating is that it's physical.
You know, it's one thing about intellectuals,
they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant
and have no idea what's going on. But on the
other hand ...
(Clears his throat)
the body doesn't lie, as-as we now know.

Alvy reaches over, pulls Robin down onto the bed. He kisses her and moves
farther up on the bed.

ROBIN
Stop acting out.

She sits on the edge of the bed, looking down at the sprawled-out Alvy.

ALVY
No, it'll be great! It'll be great,
be-because all those Ph.D.'s are in
there, you know, like ... discussing
models of alienation and we'll be in
here quietly humping.

He pulls Robin toward him, caressing her as she pulls herself away.

ROBIN
Alvy, don't! You're using sex to
express hostility.

ALVY
"'Why-why do you always r-reduce my
animal urges to psychoanalytic categories?'
(Clears his throat)
he said as he removed her brassiere..."

ROBIN
(Pulling away again)
There are people out there from The New
Yorker magazine. My God! What would they
think?

She gets up and fixes the zipper on her dress. She turns and moves toward the
door.


INT. APARTMENT-NIGHT

Robin and Alvy are in bed. The room is in darkness. Outside, a siren starts
blaring.

ROBIN
Oh, I'm sorry!

ALVY
Don't get upset!

ROBIN
Dammit! I was so close.

She flips on the overhead lamp and turns on her side. Alvy turns to her.

ALVY
(Gesturing)
Jesus, last night it was some guy honking
his car horn. I mean, the city can't
close down. You know, what-whatta yuh
gonna do, h-have 'em shut down the
airport, too? No more flights so we can
have sex?

ROBIN
(Reaching over for her eyeglasses
on the night table)
I'm too tense. I need a Valium. My
analyst says I should live in the country
and not in New York.

ALVY
Well, I can't li- We can't have this
discussion all the time. The country
makes me nervous. There's ... You got
crickets and it-it's quiet ... there's
no place to walk after dinner, and... uh,
there's the screens with the dead moths
behind them, and... uh, yuh got the-the
Manson family possibly, yuh got Dick and
Terry-

ROBIN
(Interrupting)
Okay, okay, my analyst just thinks I'm
too tense. Where's the goddamn Valium?

She fumbles about the floor for the Valium, then back on the bed.

ALVY
Hey, come on, it's quiet now. We can-we
can start again.

ROBIN
I can't.

ALVY
What-

ROBIN
My head is throbbing.

ALVY
Oh, you got a headache!

ROBIN
I have a headache.

ALVY
Bad?

ROBIN
Oswald and ghosts.

ALVY
Jesus!

He begins to get out of bed.

ROBIN
Where are you going?

ALVY
Well, I'm-I'm gonna take another in a
series of cold showers.


EXT. MEN'S LOCKER ROOM OF THE TENNIS CLUB.

Rob and Alvy, carrying tennis rackets, come through the door of the locker
room to the lobby. They are dressed in tennis whites. They walk toward the
indoor court.

ROB
Max, my serve is gonna send yuh to
the showers-

ALVY
Right, right, so g-get back to what we
were discussing, the failure of the
country to get behind New York City is-is
anti-Semitism.

ROB
Max, the city is terribly worried.

ALVY
But the- I'm not discussing politics or
economics. This is foreskin.

ROB
No, no, no, Max, that's a very convenient
out. Every time some group disagrees with
you it's because of anti-Semitism.

ALVY
Don't you see? The rest of the country looks
upon New York like we're-we're left-wing
Communist, Jewish, homosexual, pornographers.
I think of us that way, sometimes, and I-I
live here.

ROB
Max, if we lived in California, we could
play outdoors every day, in the sun.

ALVY
Sun is bad for yuh. Everything our parents
said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat,
college ...


INT. TENNIS COURT

Annie and Janet, in tennis whites, stand on the court holding tennis rackets
and balls. They are chattering and giggling.

ANNIE
(Laughing)
I know, but ooh- here he comes. Okay.

Rob and Alvy enter the court and walk over to the two women. Rob kisses Janet
and makes introduction.

ROB
You know Alvy?

JANET
Oh, hi, Alvy.

ANNIE
(To Rob)
How are yuh?

ROB
(To Alvy)
You know Annie?

JANET
I'm sorry. This is Annie Hall.

ALVY
Hi.

ANNIE
Hi.

Annie and Alvy shake hands.

JANET
(Laughing)
Alvy.

ROB
(Eager to begin)
Who's playing who here? Alvy Well, uh ...
you and me against them?

ANNIE
(Overlapping Alvy)
Well ... so ... I can't play too good,
you know.

JANET
(Laughing)
I've had four lessons!

The group, laughing and chatting, divide up-Rob and Annie moving to the other
side of the net, Alvy and Janet standing where they are. They start to play
mixed doubles, each taking turns and playing well. At one point in the game,
Annie starts to talk to Rob, then turns and sees a ball heading toward her.

ALVY
(Hitting the halt back)
Holy gods!


INT. LOBBY

Alvy, dressed, puts things into a gym bag. One knee is on the bench and his
back is turned from the entrance. Annie walks toward the entrance door dressed
in street clothes and carrying her tennis bag over her shoulder. Seeing Alvy,
she stops and turns.

ANNIE
Hi. Hi, hi.

ALVY
(Looking over his shoulder)
Hi. Oh, hi. Hi.

ANNIE
(Hands clasped in front of her,
smiling)
Well, bye. She laughs and backs up slowly
toward the door.

ALVY
(Clearing his throat)
You-you play ... very well.

ANNIE
Oh, yeah? So do you. Oh, God, whatta-
(Making sounds and laughing)
whatta dumb thing to say, right? I mean,
you say it, "You play well," and right
away ... I have to say well. Oh, oh ...
God, Annie.
(She gestures with her hand)
Well ... oh, well ... la-de-da, la-de-da,
la-la.

She turns around and moves toward the door.

ALVY
(Still looking over his shoulder)
Uh ... you-you wanna lift?

ANNIE
(Turning and aiming her thumb over
her shoulder)
Oh, why-uh ... y-y-you gotta car?

ALVY
No, um ... I was gonna take a cab.

ANNIE
(Laughing)
Oh, no, I have a car.

ALVY
You have a car?
(Annie smiles, hands folded in
front of her)
So ...
(Clears his throat)
I don't understand why ... if you have a
car, so then-then wh-why did you say "Do
you have a car?"... like you wanted a lift?

ANNIE
I don't ...
(Laughing)
I don't ... Geez, I don't know, I've ...
I wa- This ... yeah, I got this VW out
there ...
(Laughing and gesturing toward
the door)
What a jerk, yeah. Would you like a lift?

ALVY
(Zipping up his bag)
Sure. W-w-w-which way yuh goin'?

ANNIE
Me? Oh, downtown!

ALVY
Down- I'm-I'm goin' uptown.

ANNIE
(Laughing)
Oh, well, I'm goin' uptown, too.

ALVY
Uh, well, you just said you were going
downtown.

ANNIE
Yeah, well, I'm, but I ...

Alvy picks up his bag and moves toward the door. As he turns his bag around,
the handle of the tennis racket bits Annie between the legs.

ALVY
(Laughing)
So sorry.

Ce qu'on fait n'est jamais compris mais seulement loué ou blâmé. Nietzsche, Gay Science