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Existentialism
Woody Allen (1935)
Annie Hall (2)
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I love the rain, It washes the memories off the sidewalk
of life
(Play it agqain,Sam) |
ALVY
(Gesturing)
A li-little louder. I think one of them
may have missed it!
(To the ticket clerk)
H'm, has the picture started yet?
TICKET CLERK
It started two minutes ago.
ALVY
(Hitting his hand on the counter)
That's it! Forget it! I-I can't go in.
ANNIE
Two minutes, Alvy.
ALVY
(Overlapping Annie)
No, I'm sorry, I can't do it. We-we've
blown it already. I-you know, uh, I-I
can't go in in the middle.
ANNIE
In the middle?
(Alvy nods his head yes and let's
out an exasperated sigh)
We'll only miss the titles. They're in
Swedish.
ALVY
You wanna get coffee for two hours or
something? We'll go next-
ANNIE
Two hours? No, u-uh, I'm going in.
I'm going in.
She moves past the ticket clerk.
ALVY
(Waving to Annie)
Go ahead. Good-bye.
Annie moves back to Alvy and takes his arm.
ANNIE
Look, while we're talking we could be
inside, you know that?
ALVY
(Watching people with tickets move
past them)
Hey, can we not stand here and argue in
front of everybody, 'cause I get embarrassed.
ANNIE
Alright. All right, all right, so whatta
you wanna do?
ALVY
I don't know now. You-you wanna go to
another movie?
(Annie nods her head and shrugs
her shoulders disgustedly as Alvy,
gesturing with his band, looks at
her)
So let's go see The Sorrow and the Pity.
ANNIE
Oh, come on, we've seen it. I'm not in
the mood to see a four-hour documentary
on Nazis.
ALVY
Well, I'm sorry, I-I can't ... I-I-I've
gotta see a picture exactly from the start
to the finish, 'cause-'cause I'm anal.
ANNIE
(Laughing now)
H'h, that's a polite word for what you are.
INT. THEATER LOBBY.
A lined-up crowd of ticket holders waiting to get into the
theater, Alvy and
Annie among them. A bum of indistinct chatter can be heard
through the ensuing
scene.
MAN IN LINE
(Loudly to his companion right
behind Alvy and Annie)
We saw the Fellini film last Tuesday.
It is not one of his best. It lacks a
cohesive structure. You know, you get
the feeling that he's not absolutely sure
what it is he wants to say. 'Course, I've
always felt he was essentially a-a technical
film maker. Granted, La Strada was a great
film. Great in its use of negative energy
more than anything else. But that simple
cohesive core ...
Alvy, reacting to the man's loud monologue, starts to get
annoyed, while Annie
begins to read her newspaper.
ALVY
(Overlapping the man's speech)
I'm-I'm-I'm gonna have a stroke.
ANNIE
(Reading)
Well, stop listening to him.
MAN IN LINE
(Overlapping Alvy and Annie)
You know, it must need to have had its
leading from one thought to another.
You know what I'm talking about?
ALVY
(Sighing)
He's screaming his opinions in my ear.
MAN IN LINE
Like all that Juliet of the Spirits or
Satyricon, I found it incredibly ...
indulgent. You know, he really is. He's
one of the most indulgent film makers. He
really is-
ALVY
(Overlapping)
Key word here is "indulgent."
MAN IN LINE
(Overlapping)
-without getting ... well, let's put it
this way ...
ALVY
(To Annie, who is still reading,
overlapping the man in line who is
still talking)
What are you depressed about?
ANNIE
I missed my therapy. I overslept.
ALVY
How can you possibly oversleep?
ANNIE
The alarm clock.
ALVY
(Gasping)
You know what a hostile gesture that is
to me?
ANNIE
I know-because of our sexual problem,
right?
ALVY
Hey, you ... everybody in line at the
New Yorker has to know our rate of
intercourse?
MAN IN LINE
- It's like Samuel Beckett, you know-
I admire the technique but he doesn't ...
he doesn't hit me on a gut level.
ALVY
(To Annie)
I'd like to hit this guy on a gut level.
The man in line continues his speech all the while Alvy and
Annie talk.
ANNIE
Stop it, Alvy!
ALVY
(Wringing his hands)
Well, he's spitting on my neck! You know,
he's spitting on my neck when he talks.
MAN IN LINE
And then, the most important thing of all
is a comedian's vision.
ANNIE
And you know something else? You know,
you're so egocentric that if I miss my
therapy you can think of it in terms of
how it affects you!
MAN IN LINE
(Lighting a cigarette while he talks)
Gal gun-shy is what it is.
ALVY
(Reacting again to the man in line)
Probably on their first date, right?
MAN IN LINE
(Still going on)
It's a narrow view.
ALVY
Probably met by answering an ad in the
New York Review of Books. "Thirtyish
academic wishes to meet woman who's
interested in Mozart, James Joyce and
sodomy."
(He sighs; then to Annie)
Whatta you mean, our sexual problem?
ANNIE
Oh!
ALVY
I-I-I mean, I'm comparatively normal
for a guy raised in Brooklyn.
ANNIE
Okay, I'm very sorry. My sexual problem!
Okay, my sexual problem! Huh?
The man in front of them turns to look at them, then looks away.
ALVY
I never read that. That was-that was
Henry James, right? Novel, uh, the
sequel to Turn of the Screw? My Sexual ...
MAN IN LINE
(Even louder now)
It's the influence of television. Yeah,
now Marshall McLuhan deals with it in terms
of it being a-a high, uh, high intensity,
you understand? A hot medium ... as opposed
to a ...
ALVY
(More and more aggravated)
What I wouldn't give for a large sock o'
horse manure.
MAN IN LINE
... as opposed to a print ...
Alvy steps forward, waving his hands in frustration, and stands facing the
camera.
ALVY
(Sighing and addressing the audience)
What do you do when you get stuck in a movie
line with a guy like this behind you? I mean,
it's just maddening!
The man in line moves toward Alvy. Both address the audience now.
MAN IN LINE
Wait a minute, why can't I give my opinion?
It's a free country!
ALVY
I mean, d- He can give you- Do you hafta
give it so loud? I mean, aren't you ashamed
to pontificate like that? And-and the funny
part of it is, M-Marshall McLuhan, you don't
know anything about Marshall McLuhan's...work!
MAN IN LINE
(Overlapping)
Wait a minute! Really? Really? I happen to
teach a class at Columbia called "TV Media
and Culture"! So I think that my insights
into Mr. McLuhan-well, have a great deal of
validity.
ALVY
Oh, do yuh?
MAN IN LINE
Yes.
ALVY
Well, that's funny, because I happen to
have Mr. McLuhan right here. So ... so,
here, just let me-I mean, all right. Come
over here ... a second.
Alvy gestures to the camera which follows him and the man in line to the back
of the crowded lobby. He moves over to a large stand-up movie poster and
pulls Marshall McLuban from behind the poster.
MAN IN LINE
Oh.
ALVY
(To McLuban)
Tell him.
MCLUHAN
(To the man in line)
I hear-I heard what you were saying.
You-you know nothing of my work. You
mean my whole fallacy is wrong. How you
ever got to teach a course in anything is
totally amazing.
ALVY
(To the camera)
Boy, if life were only like this!
INT. THEATER. A CLOSE-UP OF THE SCREEN SHOWING FACES OF GERMAN SOLDIERS.
Credits appear over the faces of the soldiers.
THE SORROW AND THE PITY
CINEMA 5 LTD., 1972
MARCEL OPHULS, ANDRE HARRIS, 1969
Chronicle of a French town during the Occupation
NARRATOR'S VOICE
(Over credits and soldiers)
June fourteenth, nineteen forty, the
German army occupies Paris. All over
the country, people are desperate for
every available scrap of news.
CUT TO:
INT. BEDROOM-NIGHT
Annie is sitting up in bed reading.
ALVY
(Off screen)
Boy, those guys in the French Resistance
were really brave, you know? Got to listen
to Maurice Chevalier sing so much.
ANNIE
M'm, I don't know, sometimes I ask myself
how I'd stand up under torture.
ALVY
(Off screen)
You? You kiddin'?
(He moves into the frame, lying across
the bed to touch, Annie, who makes a
face)
If the Gestapo would take away your
Bloomingdale's charge card, you'd tell 'em
everything.
ANNIE
That movie makes me feel guilty.
ALVY
Yeah, 'cause it's supposed to.
He starts kissing Annie's arm. She gets annoyed and continues to read.
ANNIE
Alvy, I ...
ALVY
What-what-what-what's the matter?
ANNIE
I-you know, I don't wanna.
ALVY
(Overlapping Annie, reacting)
What-what-I don't ... It's not natural!
We're sleeping in a bed together. You
know, it's been a long time.
ANNIE
I know, well, it's just that-you know, I
mean, I-I-I-I gotta sing tomorrow night,
so I have to rest my voice.
ALVY
(Overlapping Annie again)
It's always some kind of an excuse. It's-
You know, you used to think that I was
very sexy. What ... When we first started
going out, we had sex constantly ... We're-
we're probably listed in the Guinness Book
of World Records.
ANNIE
(Patting Alvy's band solicitously)
I know. Well, Alvy, it'll pass, it'll
pass, it's just that I'm going through a
phase, that's all.
ALVY
M'm.
ANNIE
I mean, you've been married before, you
know how things can get. You were very
hot for Allison at first.
CUT TO:
INT. BACK STAGE OF AUDITORIUM - NIGHT.
Allison, clipboard in band, walks about the wings, stopping to talk to various
people. Musicians, performers and technicians mill about, busy with activity.
Allison wears a large "ADLAI" button, as do the people around her.
The sounds
of a comedian on the stage of the auditorium can be heard, occasionally,
interrupted by chatter and applause from the off screen audience. Allison
stops to talk to two women; they, too, wear "ADLAI" buttons.
ALLISON
(Looking down at the clipboard)
Ma'am, you're on right after this man ...
about twenty minutes, something like that.
WOMAN
Oh, thank you.
Alvy moves into the frame behind Allison. He taps her on the shoulder; she
turns to face him.
ALVY
(Coughing)
Excuse ... excuse me, when do I go on?
ALLISON
(Looking down at the clipboard)
Who are you?
ALVY
Alvy ... Alvy Singer. I'm a comedian.
ALLISON
Oh, comedian. Yes. Oh, uh ... you're
on next.
ALVY
(Rubbing his hands together
nervously)
What do you mean, next?
ALLISON
(Laughing)
Uh ... I mean you're on right after
this act.
ALVY
(Gesturing)
No, it can't be, because he's a comic.
ALLISON
Yes.
ALVY
So what are you telling me, you're
putting on two comics in a row?
ALLISON
Why not?
ALVY
No, I'm sorry, I'm not goin'- I can't
... I don't wanna go on after that comedian.
ALLISON
It's okay.
ALVY
No, because they're-they're laughing, so
(He starts laughing nervously)
I-I-I'd rather not. If you don't mind,
I prefer-
ALLISON
(Overlapping)
Will you relax, please? They're gonna
love you, I know.
ALVY
(Overlapping)
I prefer not to, because ... look,
they're laughing at him. See, so what
are yuh telling me-
They move closer to the stage, looking out from the wings.
ALLISON
(Overlapping)
Yes.
ALVY
(Overlapping)
-that I've got to ... ah ... ah ...
They're gonna laugh at him for a couple
minutes, then I gotta go out there, I
gotta ... get laughs, too. How much can
they laugh?
(Off screen)
They-they they're laughed out.
ALLISON
(Off screen)
Do you feel all right?
As Allison and Alvy look out at the stage, the camera cuts to their point of
view: a comedian standing at a podium in front of huge waving pictures of Adlai
Stevenson. The audience, laughing and clapping, sits at round tables in
clusters around the room.
The camera moves back to Allison and Alvy watching the stage. Alvy is swinging
his hands nervously.
COMEDIAN
(Off screen, onstage)
You know ...
Alvy starts looking Allison up and down; people in the background mill about.
ALVY
(Above the chatter around him)
Look, what's your-what's your name?
COMEDIAN
(Off screen)
... General Eisenhower is not ...
ALLISON
(Looking out at the stage)
Allison.
ALVY
Yeah? Allison what?
ALLISON
(Still looking off screen)
Portchnik.
COMEDIAN
... a group from the ...
ALVY
(Coughing)
Thank you. I-I don't know why they would
have me at this kind of rally 'cause ...
(He clears his throat)
Excuse me, I'm not essentially a political
comedian at all.
The audience starts to laugh.
ALVY
I ... interestingly had, uh, dated ...
a woman in the Eisenhower Administration
... briefly ... and, uh, it was ironic to
me 'cause, uh . . . tsch . . . 'cause I
was trying to, u-u-uh, do to her what
Eisenhower has been doing to the country
for the last eight years.
The audience is with him, laughing, as Allison continues to watch offstage.
INT. APARTMENT BEDROOM.
Allison and, Alvy are on the bed, kissing. There are books all over the room;
a fireplace, unlit, along one of the walls. Alvy suddenly breaks away and sits
on the edge of the bed. Allison looks at him.
ALVY
H'm, I'm sorry, I can't go through with
this, because it-I can't get it off my
mind, Allison ... it's obsessing me!
ALLISON
Well, I'm getting tired of it. I need
your attention.
Alvy gets up from the bed and starts walking restlessly around the room,
gesturing with his hands.
ALVY
It-but it-it ... doesn't make any sense.
He drove past the book depository and the
police said conclusively that it was an
exit wound. So-how is it possible for
Oswald to have fired from two angles at
once? It doesn't make sense.
ALLISON
Alvy.
Alvy, stopping for a moment at the fireplace mantel, sighs. He then snaps his
fingers and starts walking again.
ALVY
I'll tell you this! He was not marksman
enough to hit a moving target at that
range. But ...
(Clears his throat)
if there was a second assassin ... it-
That's it!
Alvy stops at the
music stand with open sheet music on it as Allison gets up
from the bed and retrieves a pack of cigarettes from a bookshelf.
ALLISON
We've been through this.
ALVY
If they-they recovered the shells from
that rifle.
ALLISON
(Moving back to the bed and
lighting a cigarette)
Okay. All right, so whatta yuh saying,
now? That e-e-everybody o-o-on the Warren
Commission is in on this conspiracy, right?
ALVY
Well, why not?
ALLISON
Yeah, Earl Warren?
ALVY
(Moving toward the bed)
Hey ... honey, I don't know Earl Warren.
ALLISON
Lyndon Johnson?
ALVY
(Propping one knee on the bed
and gesturing)
L-L-Lyndon Johns Lyndon Johnson is a
politician. You know the ethics those
guys have? It's like-uh, a notch
underneath child molester.
ALLISON
Then everybody's in in the conspiracy?
ALVY
(Nodding his head)
Tsch.
ALLISON
The FBI, and the CIA, and J. Edgar
Hoover and oil companies and the
Pentagon and the men's-room attendant
at the White House?
Alvy touches Allison's shoulder, then gets up from the bed and starts walking
again.
ALVY
I-I-I-I would leave out the men's-room
attendant.
ALLISON
You're using this conspiracy theory as
an excuse to avoid sex with me.
ALVY
Oh, my God!
(Then, to the camera)
She's right! Why did I turn off Allison
Portchnik? She was-she was beautiful. She
was willing. She was real ... intelligent.
(Sighing)
Is it the old Groucho Marx joke? That-that
I-I just don't wanna belong to any club that
would have someone like me for a member?
EXT. BEACH HOUSE - DAY
Alvy's and Annie's voices are heard over the wind-browned exterior of a beach
house in the Hamptons. As they continue to talk, the camera moves inside the
house. Alvy is picking up chairs, trying to get at the group of lobsters
crawling on the floor. Dishes are stacked up in a drying rack, and bags of
groceries sit on the counter. There's a table and chairs near the refrigerator.
Ce
qu'on fait n'est jamais compris mais seulement loué ou blâmé.
Nietzsche, Gay Science |
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